Everybody Funny. Now You Funny Too

Standup comedy is the shiz-nit.  I fucking love that shit. There is nothing more entertaining to me than a good standup performance. One of my secret life-fantasies is to be a killer standup comic. Only problem is that I’m not funny enough, and I suck at telling stories. I mean, I can’t even tell a story about anything to a bunch of friends. Or even to one friend. Or even a made up story. Or even explain a funny movie scene. Usually, even if I try reciting some funny lines from a funny movie I either forget or I just fuck it up and make it not funny. I’m not saying that alone makes me un-funny, because being able to recite movie lines does not make you a funny person, it just means that you have a good memory. One of my biggest pet peeves is a dude being labeled as funny by a group of people because he is really good at remembering funny lines from movies. I mean seriously, how dumb do you have to be to fall for that shit? It’s not like he thought up the shit himself, or had anything to do with creating anything of comedic value whatsoever. He just remembered some shit that professional writers put into a movie, he watched it probably 8 times for the sole purpose of memorizing it and acting it out in front of people, and now he’s the life of the fucking party?! Seriously, that’s bullshit. Anyone who thinks people like this are genuinely funny deserves to be shot, and aren’t even worth having as friends anyway, so fuck ‘em. Anyways, me telling a story usually ends up a stuttering, back-tracking mess and I avoid it at all costs. Which is why I will never be a standup comedian and I so strongly admire a fucking good standup.
Why is standup so great, you ask? Well to me, it’s the most naked, pure, honest form of entertainment. Musicians and rock stars and such hold concerts and those are pretty entertaining. I love music. But they have instruments and a bunch of people backing them up on stage. There’s usually a bunch of lights and other effects that make the show entertaining. And it is. Actors have sets, other actors, and an army of people that write their fucking lines for them. Lots of musicians don’t write their own shit, they just sing it and play it. What successful standup comic has a team of people writing jokes for them? They don’t. A good standup needs to be emotionally invested in their act, otherwise it’s a hard sell, it doesn’t seem natural and it turns into a shitty performance. With actors, that’s what theyr’e doing–acting. Getting paid to not be themselves. Which is hard in itself. But it doesn’t make them creative or funny people by default. When you see a comic on stage, you are seeing that person. His thoughts and his words. This means that off stage, he is probably pretty funny or interesting as well. Either way, it’s a truer representation of his real life persona. Also, I mean, a good actor in a movie might seem like a real interesting dude because of his roles and what not but in real life they might be rather dull and boring or just a dick. Most of us will never know, or even care for that matter. But a standup comic has to develop his own material. From nothing. Just thoughts and ideas. His Own thoughts and ideas. And then make them entertaining. This means that what you see of a comic on stage is a very close representation to who he is as a person. This means that, in real life, he’s probably cool to hang out with. Which in reality means nothing for 99% of the people watching them, but still.
Standup comedy is so intriguing to me because it’s just one guy on stage with a mic. He’s standing on a stage, alone, with a bunch of people sitting there staring at  him waiting to laugh and be entertained. It just seems so ballsy to me. “Hey I’m gonna stand here in front of all these people. I’m gonna talk and tell stories and share ideas which are going to entertain these people enough so that they will feel good about spending time and money to watch me do so.” Awesome.
A lot of comics are really smart and don’t get the credit they deserve. I mean, yeah, their job is to think of funny, interesting angles on issues in society and life. But have you ever tried to do that? I bet you haven’t. And if you have, I bet you came up with nothing anyone would ever give a rat’s ass about. It’s really hard. The thing about being a comic is that your material is right in front of you. You just observe life and analyze it, but do so creatively in ways people haven’t thought of. You have to be smart to do this. To say things nobody else thought of. To stand in front of an audience and deliver thoughts that perhaps none of them have thought before, and make them laugh and think “hey I never thought of it like that, but yea it makes sense.” I think comics should rule the world.
On a side note, there’s not much I appreciate more than a well crafted joke. If it’s clever and funny, I will probably laugh at it, even if it’s about me, or attacks my beliefs. I might disagree with it, but I mean, clever is clever.

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