Archive for the ‘ WTF ’ Category

Chap Stick

I needed some chap stick the other day so I went to Walgreens on my way to work. So I’m in Walgreens and I go to the first place any normal person would go when looking for some chap stick- the checkout counter. All they have at the check out counter is the bargain chapstick the goes for 50 cents a stick.

Now, I know some of you are like, “wow that’s a really good price” Fuck that. I only buy the good shit when it comes to chap stick. “oh hes just a prick who only buys name brand chap stick” No, aright, I’ve purchased the bargain chap stick before- “wow 50 cents I can get 4 for the price of one of the name brand.” I learned my lesson though. Seems like a great deal, until you put it on your lips. I don’t know what that shit is, but it always feels like a just dipped my lips in a vat of wax. It hardens after like 5 minutes and you hafta keep wiping it off with a napkin and re-applying all day long. It gets all crusty an people stare at your disgusting lips, you feel like you’re wearing cheap lipstick. And do not try to drink out of a glass with your bargain chap stick on because you leave the red lip marks on the glass, and for a second you sorta feel like a cross dresser.

So anyways im looking around the rest of the store for the good shit. What is it about chap stick, stores refuse to stock it anywhere in the store that actually makes sense? Wouldn’t the most appropriate place for chap stick be somewhere in the proximity of the gigantic lipstick aisle, which is very clearly labled and for some reason the best-lit aisle in the whole store? Now im not saying it should be directly in that aisle, I don’t want to get caught mistakenly searching the lipstick shelves when im shopping for chap stick. It should be near the lipstick, but clearly seperated. An on-looker should easily be able to distinguish which type of stick im in the market for, either lip or chap. I guess the problem is that chap stick doesn’t really fit in a certain category, its not really a beauty product; you don’t necessarily wear it to make yourself look different. Its not really hygiene either. What the fuck is it? I don’t know, I don’t manage a chain of drug stores its not my job to figure this shit out.

So I finally find the goddamn chap stick section and guess wear it is. Its in the cold-products aisle, along with Tylenol pm, Bayer, and all that sorta stuff, and, more specifically, it was in between cough syrup and cough drops. It wasn’t ya know, cough drops and cough syrup, and then chap stick, which would be somewhat sensible. It was cough syrup, chap stick, cough drops. This makes no fucking sense. Now I may not know what chap stick is exactly, but I know where it doesn’t belong, and that’s in the middle of two strongly related products. Its not like it was in between some random shit. Like oh ok heres the hair brushes, chap stick, and then potato chips or something. You wouldn’t stock chap stick between condoms and tampons would you? No of course not. You don’t want some 6 year old looking for chap stick for his mom and he asks you where it is and you tell him between the condoms and tampons like he should just know.

Now, the thing that bothered me the most about this whole experience, besides the chap stick being stuck in some obscure location, was that it was not advertised at all. There was no sign that said CHAP STICK. There was, surprisingly enough, a sign for both cough syrup AND cough drops. Why? Why the fuck do you need a sign for both? Would someone looking for cough drops be like “hm this aisle has cough syrup in it… but im looking for cough drops, it definitely wont be down there.” Why would those two products ever be seperated? What dumb ass with a cough would not immediately venture down the cough syrup aisle?

From a manager’s perspective its just not an efficient use of signs either. I mean if you have a limited number of signs, are you really gonna waste one each on cough syrup and cough drops, and completely leave out chap stick? What is wrong with you? They should be seperated by a slash at most.